To me there is nothing that cuts as deep and to the core of a mother than the thought that we are failing our children. I need to be honest and say that I had a real freak out moment tonight when I had a flash of extreme panic over whether Abby was learning enough math. It was comical really and I even declared to my husband that I didn’t know how I could write anything tonight on my blog if I acted this way. I compared how I homeschool her to the way another mom homeschools her child. I didn’t take my own advice and I had a great talk with the Lord on my drive home, alone, in the dark, with no one there to hear me :)
Then I come home and she’s still up reading Nancy Drew with her headlamp, and Zach comes out all excited and reads me a book that is very challenging for him but he read it beautifully. I felt like a big soppy puddle of who knows what, but something that felt so wrong. Like I had believed a lie and it was yucky. The Lord greeted me at home with some validation and a big hug.
I want to enjoy my children, not fret about their head knowledge.
Do you want to enjoy your children? Do you enjoy your kids?
What is it about each one of your kids that makes you smile? Who are they? What makes them great? What about them makes you happy to be their mom? Is that joy spilling over into homeschool? Or is all the stress causing this whole homeschool journey to cloud who you all really are to each other?
Is my response going to be hitting the math books harder and pushing my daughter’s limits? Or am I going to press forward and keep asking the Lord to help me do right by my 10 year old?
What is our first response going to be?
I want my first response to be falling into the arms of Jesus and asking HIM how I’m doing. Can we do that? Can we trust in the Lord so that we are able to enjoy our children?
I am so very much talking to myself tonight. This wasn’t at all on the agenda for me to write about today!! But I think the Lords plans are better than mine :)